April 01, 2010

From the San Francisco Chronicle to the New York Times, email in-boxes and voicemail lines have been flooded with reports of flying saucers mounted on microtonal keyboards invading the peaceful airspace of the United States of America. The invasion began shortly after dawn on the East coast, and swept across the nation, causing inexplicable disruption of all upright, baby grand, and grand piano actions, as well as discombobulation of all standard twelve tone keyboard synthesizers. The flying instruments emitted strange and amazing sounds that boggled onlookers. Due to the acoustic disturbances, several early observers had been calling the crafts UFO's (Unconventional Fantastic Omniphones) and they have since been identified as Tonal Plexus keyboards equipped with elegant built-in coffee cups and saucers.

H-Pi Instruments director Aaron Andrew Hunt has since claimed responsibility for the invasion, calling it an experimental Spring product release, combining microtonality with a refreshing beverage. Hunt apologized for all the hubub, saying "Ice coffee is really more appropriate now that the temperature has gone up and the sun is out … or maybe cold beer - I don't really drink beer, so I didn't think of that … maybe a nice lemonade, or sparkling grape juice? It's totally your choice; reporters have been calling them 'coffee cups' I guess because they do look like coffee cups, but - and this is an important point! - that cup there was designed to be compatible with all fluids, not just coffee!"